_ _ | |______| | | | Dead Pig Digest #3 | X --- | | \ / | This weeks Dead Pig philosophy: Life is like a box of Dead | |oo| | Pig.It smells funny. | | -- | | | \______/ | \----------/ Send all mail to: zarla@magna.com.au A weekly Digest concerning Bruce, the dead pig and associated subjects. -------------------------------- IN THIS ISSUE: 1) This issue -------------------------------- Editiorial Hello. -------------------------------- Editorial mark 2 This issue is significant because it is our 3rd. Hip Hurrah! Don't forget, if you want to be a close personal friend of the dead pig, get us some more subscribers. Coming up on the dead pig calendar: August 15: August 15th Day August 16: August 16th Day August 17: August 17th Day August 18: August 19th Day August 19: A Saturday August 22: International World National Local State Day Week for the Local International People who love and enjoy creating special days on our calender with extra long names to annoy the diary and calender manufacturers day. August 27: The end of the world August 28: World Day (ha ha Ha, little do they know!) -------------------------------- Dead Pig Song Dead Pig Dead Pig We love Bruce! Dead Pig Dead Pig He's no moose -------------------------------- In light of that extremely bodgey song, we are having a Dead Pig Song competition. Send us all your Dead Pig Songs. This will make Bruce very happy. As a winner or runner up, you will receive a personalised email from the great Dead Pig as well as have your song put into the next Dead Pig issue. Dead Pig Today By Kol Huamayoy Hi, I'm Kol Huamayoy. You may know me from another stupid mailing list, Daily Blabbery. Anyway, on with the column. Hmmmm. A rather difficult subject, Dead Pig? Well, anyway. Hmmm. Bruce, who is the dead pig, which is a pig that is not alive, is well, how would you say, a dead pig, that is of course, a pig which is not alive, which of course must be a dead pig, or you may call it, a deceased hog, or a dead hog, or hog which is not alive, or maybe even a pig which has gone up to that great big patch of mud up in the sky, or pig heaven you may call it, or piggy paradise, which ever you prefer. Of course, with choices like these, you could be choosing for the rest of your life. Unless of course, you like three types of pizza, in which case you can have them all, by dividing the pizza into thirds. Now, dead pig pizza, when we get that, you know the world is finally starting to care about me and you, not just sweep us under the carpet like they used to. "Yes, you'll like it in there, just go have a look". Arrrrrrrgh. HELP HELP HELP! They're after me again! Someone help!!!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's all from Kol for this week, but join us next issue, when hopefully his prescription has been filled. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And now it's time for: ????????????????? ? QUESTION TIME ? ????????????????? That's right, that the time, it's time for: ????????????????? ? QUESTION TIME ? ????????????????? And now for question time. Feel free to send your questions and any other articles you wish to appear in Dead Pig to zarla@magna.com.au. Now, Bruce is most unhappy. NO ONE has sent in any questions this time for ????????????????? ? QUESTION TIME ? ????????????????? Last week we got quite a few good questions. It doesn't matter what you want to ask the Dead Pig or us, send it in! For goodness sake! What the point of making time for ????????????????? ? QUESTION TIME ? ????????????????? if no one sends in any questions? What is Bruces favourite colour? What is ten time ten? How many Dead Pig's does it take to change a light bulb? What is the meaning of life? How do you make custard? Can I have some money? All these are acceptable questions for ????????????????? ? QUESTION TIME ? ????????????????? so please send some in. And remember to enter the Dead Pig song contest. Copyright Sam Bowring and Dylan Behan, 1995