_ _ | |______| | | | Dead Pig Digest #2 | X X | | \ / | This weeks Dead Pig philosophy: If you like Dead Pig, | |oo| | subscribe to Dead Pig | | -- | | | \______/ | \----------/ Send all mail to: zarla@magna.com.au A weekly Digest concerning Bruce, the dead pig and associated subjects. -------------------------------- IN THIS ISSUE: 1) Some stuff 2) Some other stuff But first, a word from the Dead Pig himself, Bruce: ÔLike sands through the hour glass, I live in a small glass container.Õ Down on your knees and thank Bruce for his words! Glory to the Dead Pig! -------------------------------- DEAD PIG FASHION WhatÕs hot and whatÕs a piece of rotting cow Well, in this summer in the Dead Pig range, we have pyjamas. Yes, as always, pyjamas are the way to go when dressing to impress. Especially those with polka-dots on them. However, one must careful when selecting pyjamas, so as not to strangle yourself to death with the pants. This is an extreme hazard, but themÕs the risks if you want pyjamas. A piece of rotting cow is a bit of a common milk-producing bi-ped, called a cow, or cattle in plural, that has started to decompose. It, like pyjamas, is also very fashionable. -------------------------------- And now a Dead Pig warning: Do not do that! -------------------------------- ????????????????? ? QUESTION TIME ? ????????????????? And now for question time. Feel free to send your questions and any other articles you wish to appear in Dead Pig to zarla@magna.com.au. ÔWhat can I do in the bath to make Dead Pig happy?Õ -Frank -You can wear your pyjamas, or alternatively, wear your pyjamas ÔIf you take a number, multiply it by five, subtract one, add six, multiply by five again, then divide by the original number, what do you get?Õ -Brady -A complex ÔWhat is the Dead PigÕs favourite item of clothing?Õ -Spudhead -Oh come on, havenÕt you been listening? ÔWhat is pesticide?Õ -Frank again -ThatÕs when a bug chooses to take itÕs own life ÔAre there aliens?Õ -Frank yet again -I really donÕt know. Why donÕt you ask them yourself? Now shut up, and stop asking questions. -------------------------------- ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ | || BRUCE'S || || || || | || || MOVIE || || || | || || ||REVIEW| || || |_____||_____||_____||_____||_____||_____|| ------------------------------------------- THIS WEEK'S MOVIE: BRAVEHEART ÔI really felt that although IÕm sure a lot of hard work went into Braveheart, what with those battle scenes and special effects(people getting badly dismembered and suchlike), as well as a good plot and interesting characters, even after all this, they didnÕt really have enough Dead Pigs in it. I mean, any movie worth itÕs salt should have at least one good chase, one plot twist, and one Dead Pig, donÕt you think? I do.Õ -------------------------------- We need a donation of 1 (one) or more page(s) on the World Wide Web where we can keep issues of the DEAD PIG DIGEST. If anyone can help us out, send mail to zarla@magna.com.au with the subject line I HAVE THREE STOMACHS. -------------------------------- Short Quiz on Dead Pig. (Guess the missing letters) 1) Dead P_g 2) De_d Pig 3) Dead Pi_ 4) _ead Pig Answers: 1)Dead Pug 2)Deud Pig 3)Dead Piz 4)Head Pig -------------------------------- and now for something not about the Dead Pig I LOVE DEAD PIG!!! DEAD PIG! DEAD PIG!!! ARRRRGHGHGHGHGHGHG!!! BRUCE!!! -------------------------------- PIG KNOWS BEST a column by Jimmy the three armed Snrub Yes, welcome to my first column. This will be a column I will try to put in every issue of DEAD PIG. Anyway, now to the issue, 'what should I put in the Dead Pig Digest?'. Well, it's the first issue and I'm out of ideas already. So, after thinking about this for several minutes, I decided that today I shall talk about upcoming events on the dead pig calander. I could make a song about the DEAD PIG, and send it to everyone who wants it. Or, if anyone out there has a MAC, I could make a DEAD PIG game. Still, that all is really boring. So, I shall discuss different Dead Pig Pyjamas. Well, Bruce has been known to waltz around his living room in a cotton long sleeved shirt, that's white with blue stripes. He also wore matching pants with Woolen uggboots. On more daring occasions, he has worn only a package of beads and knits, tied to his face as he dances the Heel and Toe polka. Bruce is a weird individual, if only he knew how much we love him. Bruce probably hates us. Why shouldn't he? He is the DEAD PIG afterall, knower of knowledge and protector of the sacred flag of Yes. All hail the sacred flag! How high it does fly in the noon sun, as our retinas melt we can no longer see it. Death to the dreaded alien Retina destroying machine! We'll kill them all! Anyway, that's long enough for this week, see you next week. -------------------------------- Well thatÕs it for this week. Remember to follow the Dead Pig, wear pyjamas and create huge amounts of smelly air using your bottom. Actually, one of those you shouldnÕt do, and the first person to write in telling us which one it was has just wasted some time. --------------------------------