_ _ | |______| | | | Dead Pig Digest #1 | X X | | \ / | | |oo| | Send all mail to: zarla@magna.com.au | | -- | | | \______/ | \----------/ Maintained by Sam and Dylan (we have NO last names) A weekly Digest concerning Bruce the Dead Pig and associated subjects. -------------------------------- How to become a close personal friend of DEAD PIG To become a close personal friend of Dead pig, you must bring new subscribers. For every new subscriber you bring to Bruce, the DEAD PIG you will recieve a personal e-mail from the dead pig. The person that brings the most subscribers will get an extra surprise. Note: Desperatley seeking a place to set up a free web site in the name of the dead pig, if you can help us, please contact us. _ _ | |______| | THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING TO THE DEAD PIG DIGEST | |___________ | O O |¥_______ | You have made Bruce very happy. | \ / | \I| | | |oo| | -|__| | -- | | /------\ | \----------/ --------------------------------- DEAD PIG FAQ 1.0 June 1995 DEAD PIG FAQ 1.0 June 1995 DEAD PIG FAQ 1.0 June 1995 DEAD PIG FAQ 1.0 June 1995 DEAD PIG FAQ 1.0 June 1995 Dylan's version Contents: 1) FAQ 2) Not the FAQ --------------------------------- Section 1: FAQ Q) What is dead pig? A) A pig that is not alive. The only people who know of his whereabouts are Sam and Dylan, the creators. Only what they say may be recognised as DEAD PIG FACT. Q) Who is Bruce? A) Bruce is the dead pig. Q) What makes Bruce happy? A) If you accept challenges, either by e-mail or on the IRC chat. Q) When to the Dead Pig IRC chats occur? A) Whenever we feel like it, advanced warning will be given in the DEAD PIG Digest. Q) What channel will it operate under? A) Usually #dead_pig, but we may occasionly hold it at another channel, just to annoy people. Other acceptable channels will be #spam, #pig_dead, #Bruce, #lettuce, #morons, #no_friends, #unix_carpet, #truthlie, #coldtub, #dos_man, #bus_drive, #janitors, #mister_ed, #x-flies or #ludnuts. Yes, I did spell all them right. Q) When was dead pig created. A) Saturday, June 3rd. Q) Can I be a dead pig? A) That's all up to Bruce. Q) Where is the dead pig? A) Buried in Sam's backyard. Everyso often we get him out, put him in pyjamas and get him watch Melrose place by himself. Q) How can I unsubscribe from the Dead Pig digest? A) Sorry, that option is not available currently. Q) Is the dead pig smelly? A) No, he is Bruce. Q) If you have five muffins and you eat five muffins, how many muffins do you have left? A) I don't know. Q) I like dead pig, can I forward this document or any of the digests to a BBS, a friends or any one else? A) Yes, as long as it is not altered in anyway. --------------------------------- SECTION 2: Not the FAQ Submission not accepted for this section. All mail regarding the FAQ and DEAD PIG to be forwarded to zarla@magna.com.au with the subject line HELLO SPUDS LITTLE DORK NIT PICK BUNTER VARIABLE CRUD SPAM NOT BIG AND DAISY --------------------------------- ____________ |Letters to | | dead pig | |______/\___| We spent a long time on making that box for 'Letters to the Dead Pig'. So any fan mail for the box should have the subject line I LIKE PEOPLE WITH LITTLE OR NO FEET Dear wise masters How long has the dead pig been dead? -John Well, John, he has been dead all his life. - Dylan Dear opressors What colour are the dead pigs pyjamas? -Bill Well, Bill. They are rotting, festy pig flesh colour. - Dylan Hey, What kind of a bush is the dead pig buried under in Sam's backyard? -A groovee dued A very happy bush. - Dylan A special bonus to subscribers of THE DEAD PIG. A quiz... 1) You are... a) A dead pig b) Willing to do anything the dead pig tells you to do c) Waiting for a new post in the rec.folk.dancing newsgroup d) Hungry 2) When you see chocolate cookies you say... a) I'm a dead pig b) I bet the dead pig would like those cookies, I better not eat them c) Why does'nt my local newserver carry the alt.fan.swedish-chef.bjork.bjork.bjork newsgroup d) Mine! Stay away! 3) The philosophy that best describes you is.. a) I am pig that is not alive b) I do anything for the dead pig c) alt.spam d) If I were king of the world, it would be dinner time all the time 4) When you use the internet, you most likely will... a) Be a dead pig b) Check your mail to see if the dead pig has given you anymore instructions or missions to complete. c) Keep appealing to the Usenet heads in charge to bring back the alt.fondle.vomit newsgroup d) Eat 5) If you could make your own Tv show it would be called... a) Dead Pig knows best b) I love Dead Pig c) alt.mcdonalds.vegemite and other hidden usenet treasures d) Wide World of Fat 6) The reason you subscribed to the DEAD PIG DIGEST is... a) I am a dead pig b) I do anything the dead pig tells me to c) Instead of flaming you, all the people at the alt.sex.hamsters newsgroup decided to get the ultimate revenge and subscribe you 103 times d) While you were eating your 8 year old nephew took over the computer 7) Your definition of happiness is... a) Being dead pig b) Fulfilling a deed for the dead pig c) A newsgroup called alt.alt.alt.alt.alt.alt.alt.alt. d) All you can eat buffets Now, the results: Select whichever letter you picked for most of the answers if it was... a) You are a dead pig if it was... b) You are the perfect person we want subscribing and submitting material to our digest if it was... c) You are a weird moron with only a UUCP link. Get a life! if it was... d) You are a fat guy who enjoys eating. Check out the alt.diet newsgroup!! if it was... a mixture of a), b), c) and d)'s then you have a stuffed brain. See a doctor immediatly. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ This document Copyright Sam Bowring and Dylan Behan, 1995. It may be freely distributed as long as it is in it's entirety and not altered. We welcome letters, submissions and comments. All e-mails to zarla@magna.com.au To subscribe send mail with the subject line SUBSCRIBE DEAD PIG ______________________________________________________________________________________________