The Essential Wesley Willis Compact Disc Everyone's favourite Schizophrenic improvisational spoken word musical innovator is back. Includes such hits as: The Chicken Cow! Alanis Morrisette! I Whooped Batman's ass! Casper the Homosexual Friendly Ghost! Cut the Mullett! Birdman kicked my ass! and more!
	Sony Handicam TRV "Big-View" 4000 The only portable digital video camera with a crystal clear 21" LCD screen. Now you instantly replay your child puking on themselves on the BIG SCREEN. Has a battery life of over 2.5 minutes.
	Tea-Shirt It seems everyone these days is a hardcore fan of the relaxing wunderkind website "Nice Cup Of Tea And a Sit Down".com - so what better to buy the tea-head in your household than an offical tea(and-sit-down)-shirt. Hmmm nice. (I did this as a joke and it turns out they actually exist. That's fucked!)
	Racially insulting Christmas cards Deluxe Ethnic Slur edition. Give to your friends with no sense of humour - be ostracised for life.
	Puppies Puppies are the ideal gift for the co-worker whose name you've forgotten but feel obliged to buy a present for. Ask about our "great value" 12 pack. Also available in brown.
	Chilled Metal Volume 3: Ibiza Sunset Yes, the Chill Out Mix CD craze has gone too far! Features Chilled Out Metal classics by Megadeth, Motley Crue, Slayer, Ministry, Warrant, Iron Maiden and more!
	Super Safe-T Baby Harness Hey Tito! This would be an ideal Christmas gift for your brother Michael.

Get me off this crazy thing.