Apple Computer is attempting to patent the user interface for its popular iPod music player, which some of you may have noticed is actually a circular dial. How this will effect the designers and manufacturers of other technical products like washing machines and irons is yet to be established - but look for the Microsoft media player to instead feature a dial shaped, according to its legal department, shaped like a "360 degree sided square". In other iPod related news, that's not my Mike and Mechanics song on there. Kriss-Kross? Abba? In fact I don't even think that's my Ipod you've got there. Give it here so I can track down the rightful owner. Faults have recently been detected with the Ipod's rechargable batteries - namely they wear out. Perhaps they could rig up the patented circular dial to a generator so it could now be a wind up model. Sure beats a meat tray! America Online has announced it is raffling away a Porsche seized from a spammer during a 2003 lawsuit that all started with a user clicking their "Report Spam" button. Who knows what they're going to do with the 1.6 million generic Viagra pills they got though... Back in Australia, the full sale of Telstra looks set to fall through again, after the Opposition quashed the bill 35 votes to 30 last week. According to the Australian Democrats, this could be used as a double dissillison trigger. By the way, "Double Dissillision" also describes my mobile coverage in rural areas... MYOB and Solution 6 are set to merge, with MYOB shareholders owning 67 percent of the new entity and Sol6 owning 33 percent. Thanks to increased revenue from selling GST software, this is the first time that ten percent has actually turned into 67 per cent. With shortages of D-RAM crippling the computer market, there could soon be a worldwide shortage of memory. Wait. What was I talking about I again? Microsoft has celebrated the second birthday of its Xbox gaming consule by cutting prices of both the box and its games. "That's alright, I can wear this moth eaten jacked another month. I don't need the cash," Bill Gates told reporters. According to insiders, much of the value from gaming consuls lies in ongoing revenue from games growth. So look for such haphazrdly thought out titles as Grand Theft Auto: Monkey Island and Australian Idol: Karaoke soon. Oh wait, that last one actually exists! Sharman networks, the owner of the Kazaa peer-to-peer file sharing network have been quick to publicise a recent American university survey that declared that downloading songs does not effect album sales. Burning CDs on the other hand... Google has personalised their search engine further and look set to break out into new areas. From now on whenever you open your Internet Fridge- the top ten food items other people eat first will come to the top. And when you look for food it will offer Did you mean: Beer? THE END. God this really was terrible.