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In the biggest story of the past month: Beloved Australian icon and singing superstar Kylie Minogue has breast cancer. Kylie's already started working on all new reworkings of her songs for her comeback tour, such as: "I should be so unlucky", "(These drugs have got me) Spinning Around" and "Confide In Me, Doctor."
Andrew Denton responded to the news by shouting "YES!!!!" at the top of his lungs and booking her into next year's Enough Rope schedule between four squeegie guys, Bert Newtown and a pair of reformed alcoholic rock stars.
Bob Carr has set the record for becoming the longest serving New South Wales premier this week. To celebrate, he cracked his annual smile.
A showdown in looming on stem cells in the US, with George W Bush today pleading "We will not rest until these terrorist cells have been captured."
Alleged Bali drug smuggler Schapelle Corby was found innocent by 'the worm', the same televised mass-voting screen visualisation usually only found on Aussie TV screens around election time. Who said worms were only in bad apples?
Japan wants to start hunting hump back whales again, this time setting their sights on Australia's South Pacific 'hood. Opposition leader Kim Beazley immediately condemned the idea, saying: "Look, they're large, lumbering defenseless mammals and we can't just sit here and watch them be slaughtered. I mean, I get enough of that from Simon Crean."
US comedian Jay Leno has testified before the Michael Jackson trial. He delivered a six joke monologue which media commentators said "we not as good as Letterman's". Conan O'Brian will appear at the trial in 2009.
A horse of famed Sydney trainer Gai Waterhouse has tested positive to cocaine, according to the Sydney Morning Herald. Race officials first became suspicious of the horse's cocaine use when it was reported hanging out at Establishment in Wynyard, endlessly bragging about its amazing stockbroking deals and buying champagne for unimpressed legal secretaries.
In showbiz news, a new Superman movie has started shooting in Sydney with starspotting locals constantly accosting Michael Costa asking "Are you Lex Luthor?!?!"
Also in Sydney, the Cross-City tunnel opens this month. NSW Roads Minister Costa told reporters it will be "Sydney's second greatest hole after Blacktown."
Who'd believe it? The Jamster "Crazy Frog" is going to outsell Coldplay to take the number one spot on the UK singles chart, according to the Guardian. The Jamster Frog, whose single is a simple remix of Alex F (The Beverly Hills Cop Theme) celebrated with a press release that said "Yiiiib Yiib Yiiiiiib Yiiib Yiib", while Coldplay's Chris Martin smashed the Jamster Frog's windscreen outside a recent concert, thinking he was a freelance photographer.
Activist/rock musician John Butler is set to build an enormous money bin and retire at the end of his current US tour, sources say. Butler, who made A$2.9 million last year, becoming one of Australia's top 50 entertainers, is set to form a new trio with his nephews and will go on treasure hunting and environment adventures.
McDonalds has launched a new Deli Choices range, which I have wholeheartedly embraced by choosing to go and eat at a Deli instead.
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