The main story on the front pages the past month was photographs detailing the abuse and humiliation of prisoners at Baghdad's Abu Grahib prison by American troops. This lead to an uncharacteristically humble response from US President George W Bush: "We are shocked, horrored and apologise from the bottom of our hearts that these photos got leaked and published." Also in the news, US citizen Nick Berg was helped along in a Al-Quada karaoke contest when he tried to do INXS's 'Don't Lose Your Head' live on the internet. Of course no one does it as good as Michael Hutchence. The date for the US handing over of Iraqi sovereignty is on track according to US officials. "Yep, June 30 is definitely before the presidential election," said General Richard Myers. Many members of the Canterbury Bulldogs Rugby League team have been fined between $25,000 and $40,000 for their "alleged misbehaviour" on pre-season camp at Coffs Harbour. "I say alleged because there wasn't any. As proven by police. Next question. Who wants an autograph?" said one Bulldogs official. QANTAS has launched its new budget airline, JetStar. Instead of getting a customary chirpy "G'Day" upon boarding, attendants now mumble "Yeah, whatever" and puff on a cigarette. Good news for the Australian detainees in Guantanamo Bay. After two years of incarceration David Hicks and Mamdouh Habib might finally be charged with something and receive a trial. When asked if the trial would be fair, US officials laughed loudly and assured reporters "Of course not." Canadian rock band Sum 41 has had to flee violence in the African country of Congo where it was doing charity shows. The reason for the violence: people there heard the music of Sum 41 for the first time. In May, Prince Federick of Denmark married Tasmanian commoner Mary Donaldson after they met at a Sydney pub in 2000. Amazingly, it wasn't the Townie. With the Olympics two months away, Greek Olympic Officials issued a press release last week stating: "Right. What's this Olympics thing then? Anyone know what needs doing?" It's been announced a California Toy manufacturer will begin selling a talking Ronald Reagan dolls in time for Christmas. Unfortunately to acquire the doll, consumers are required to trade toy weapons with Iran in order to get the diplomat dolls out of Lebanon. Finally, in nerd news, America Online has announced it is raffling away a Porsche seized from a spammer as a result of a 2003 lawsuit, which all started when a user clicked their AOL "Report Spam" button. No word yet on what they're going to do the 1.6 million generic Viagra pills or the Nigerian Royal family they seized.Back