In a true sign that the cold war is over, the Russian military and the American military will be "joining forces" to help combat the Y2K bug. It is believed the Y2K bug could possibly mislead defence systems into believing there has been a missile attack by the opposition. The first briefing between the teams will occur in Reykjavik, Iceland. It will consist of a screening of the movie 1983 WarGames followed by free vodka shots!

There is much constitutional debate occurring presently in Australia over what should be in the new preamble to be added to the constitution next year. The three options are:
1) Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oy Oy Oy!
2) We is better than them stupid kiwis.
3) This constitution recognises that all citizens of Australia are to be treated equally, regardless of heritage, race, creed or appearance. We also recognise the prior occupation of Australia by the indigenous aboriginal people. We also recognise that all beer should be kept cold... and there should be a minimum of 17 public holidays a year, not including the ubiquitous days between public holidays which everybody takes off anyway. We also recognise Pauline Hanson should go back to running her fish and chip shop, and Kim Beazley should lose a few kilos if he ever wants to win an election.

The Olympics continue to be under investigation with Salt Lake City offering a rather simple explanation for their own corruption. "We wouldn't give out free money if we didn't think they wanted it". The report was followed by 101 names of people for the media to investigate to take the focus of the city of Salt.

Boris Yeltsin is being impeached... for bad dancing!

In the upcoming Congress elections, American first lady Hillary Clinton is expected to run for the New York Senate seat. The campaign fund raising will begin with her husband Bill Clinton manning a "kissing booth" at the upcoming New York state fair.

Kurds have recently been protesting over the imprisonment of their leader Abdullah Ocalan.
Weigh has no comment.

American Film Critic Gene Siskel passed away last month. In his honour, scientists have named a DNA strand after him... the Gene Siskel.