In memory of the September 11 attacks, and for the next six months, New York City will have two beaming towers of light rising up from the ashes of the World Trade Centre. Terrorist attempts to crash planes into the beams of light have so far proven unsuccessful.
The Sydney Harbour Bridge turned 70 last week, which coincidentally is also the number of minutes it takes to drive across it in peak hour.
The world was shaken last week by the haunting image of Squeak the jack russell, standing guard over the body of his murdered Zimbabwean farmer master Terry Ford. This marks the first time an old dog has stood behind a dead man since John Howard offered his support to Senator Heffernon`.
George W. Bush refused to acknowledge the result of the Zimbabwean elections, claiming they were 'undemocratic' and 'fixed'. The undemocratic US elections on the other hand received his full presidential approval!
In a related story, Zimbabwe has been suspended from the Commonwealth for the next 12 months, which has all but ruined their Gold Medal chances in the Farm Invasion event at this years Commonwealth Games in Manchester.
Telstra announced a half-yearly profit of $2.098 billion this month- down a massive 20 per cent. In order to satisfy share holders, untimed local calls are now set to cost $40.
Hoyts has been ordered by the Federal Court to stop systematically removing competitors coupons from copies of Filmink Magazine distributed at their cinemas. Federal Court orders to stop showing Rollerball were unfortunately not legally binding.
Cabramatta political assassin Phuong Ngo was found with 3 computer disks hidden in his personal cell at Lithgow jail. "I just wanted to finish Monkey Island!" he claimed, before throwing a huge party to celebrate.
REM Guitarist Peter Buck has been declared a 'drunken lout' in court for his behaviour on a flight from Settle to London late last year. What did he get drunk on? Vodka and "Orange Crush"! Oh god.
Celine Dion is set to become a regular fixture at a Las Vegas casino (as a perfomer), having signed a three year, 600 show deal with Caesars. In a related story, Montreal just rose twelve places on the UN's list of most desirable cities in which to live.
Finally, outback survivor Joanna Lees has categorically denied killing her missing boyfriend. When asked what she would do with $85,000 she received for her exclusive TV interview, Lees said she would "buy a new boyfriend and kill him!".