After the tragedies of September 11, life is finally returning to normal in the USA, with two school yard shootings occurring last week. "It's good to see fellow Americans are finally getting back doing to what they do best" said former New York mayor Rudolph Guiliani. "Now if I could just trouble you for some spare change..."
A pilot medical trial of an injected substitute for heroin is set to start in Sydney later this year. The cheaper and more effective substitute: anthrax!
Scary but true: US President George W. Bush has been in office for over a year now, and we all seem to have survived. Even Osama.
Prince Harry has a new nickname: Harry Pothead.
The International Conference for the Reconstruction of Afghanistan was held in Tokyo last month, with delegates from over 30 countries promised to support the rebuilding effort in the devastated war torn country. America pledged to help with the construction of a generous number of McDonalds Family Restaurants and Starbucks coffee shops.
Tragedy struck America again last month with the cult teen show Felicity being cancelled. "It turns out no one actually watched the show since she cut her and turned into a slut anyways" stated a WB Press release. "And what was the deal with Ben? Why couldn't she just get over it. HELLO?!?!" it went onto say.
The Big Day Out concerts are underway across Australia, and to improve security they've introduced a special Death Stage, where people wanting to mosh or crowd surf will be killed upon entering the arena, thus limiting the number of injuries and fatalities that occur due to crowd surfing injuries. Makes sense, huh?!?!
With the Australian school holidays finishing up, we did a survey of how kids spent their spare time this summer. The results is as follows:
And finally, Steven Spielberg has announced that production of a fourth Indiana Jones movie is definitely going ahead. "Indiana Jones and the Lost Colostomy Bag" will star an aging Harrison Ford as the aging archaelogist, who is aging.
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