A Concorde Jet has crashed outside Paris killing all 109 occupants of the super-sonic jet. In response, Air France has launched a new advertising campaign, "Our Concorde Jets will Sonic Boom in more than one respect".

Approval for the GST in Australia has reached an all time high of 46%, meaning a bigger minority than ever is in favor of the $3 coffee.

Major US Cigarette Manufacturers have been fined US$145 Billion in a Florida civil lawsuit. To offset the cost the lawsuit, the price of a pack of cigarettes is going to slightly increase to $145,000.

Also in the last month, the son of British Prime Minister Tony Blair, was found drunk and unconscious by police in Leicester Square. Widespread condemnation of Euans behaviour has come from around the globe, including Australian Prime Minister, John Howard. "It is a fathers responsibility to take care of his children. That is why my son has a car for when he gets drunk". Tony Blair responded by saying "that damn American should mind his own business".

The Israeli-Palestinian peace talks continue at Camp David (where else?) with the most popular proposal for fairly dividing up Jerusalem being giving it solely to Mr. Biggles, the one-armed dyslexic ice clown of Greenland. Mr. Biggles had no comment.

The US military is investigating a proposal to install a missile defense shield that would destroy incoming missiles by blowing them up with other missiles. It's not going to work. Didn't they see the episode of the Simpsons with the comet?

The Queen Mum is celebrating her 100th Birthday this month. Despite no one knowing her actual name, she is the most popular of member of the royal family, due largely to her incredibly low number of sex scandals: 23.

Does anyone remember the slogan last year for the International Year of Older Persons"? It was: "not old, just older". So this old guy was really slow in the queue at the post office so I shouted at him "Hurry it up, you older fart!".

Drew Barrymore is set to star in a remake of Barbarella. What's next? Mannequin starring Russell Crowe? Nicholas Cage in the all time classic, King Ralph? Pixar proudly presents Tron? Well, actually...

In other news I got my annual haircut recently, and since then people have started remarking they love my song "Summer of 69". (N.B. Bryan Adams reference)