"Over One
Dozen Readers!"
"Over One
Dozen Readers!"
After a lengthy trial, Ex-Seven Times Italian Prime Minister,
Giulio
Andreotti was cleared of Mafia-links last month. Mr. Andreotti was
reportedly delighted with the 'not guilty' verdict and despite
being aged
80, he said he would like to go on to be Prime Minister "at least another
five times". On a related matter, seven jurors from the trial have
mysteriously disappeared.
Australians are heading to the polls on November 6th to decide on
whether
they want to replace the Queen with a President, appointed
by a two-thirds
majority of Parliament. Appointing a president could be quite tricky, with
the only previous legislation receiving a two-thirds majority was the
"More Money for Members of Parliament Act" of 1991.
Olympic Tickets are in high demand after Olympic Minister
Michael Knight
changed the "bring your own chair and find a spot on the lawn" rule to
"cheapest obstructed view seat $2000". The extra money SOCOG makes from
directly selling expensive tickets to the rich will mean they can now
afford to put water in the pool during the swimming events. Diving
competitors are reminded to BYO water.
Victorian Premier Jeff Kennett lost his job. Sucked in, Jeff.
Extreme Flooding in Mexico has resulted in higher rates of
'Watered Down
Tequila' than in previous years.
Ronald Reagan's new semi-fictional biography, "Dutch"
hit
bookshelves
last
month. Weighing in at 862 pages, it has been criticized by many for being
"too bloody long, even for half made-up crap". The author, Edmund Morris
did a good job explaining Reagan's best known legacy, Reaganomics with the
following metaphor, "If I have ten jellybeans, that is good"
(p459).
The author, Dylan Behan is going on holidays, so Banana Report will be in
"Classic Comedy Moment" mode the next two months, i.e. repeats and
rehashings. Enjoy!
#14, November 1999
In the previous month:
The Banana Report, Copyright Dylan Behan 1999. E-mail Dylan at d.behan@student.canberra.edu.au
Look for a new Banana Report here, around the 25th day of every month.
