Star Wars has been knocked off the #1 spot at the box office several times, first by Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and Disney's Tarzan. George Lucas and Mike Myers are going to have a light sabre fight to the death, and the winner gets to direct the second Star Wars prequel. Here an exclusive clip from Myers' version:
Anikan Skywalker: Yeah Baby.
Jar Jar Binks: Groovy. Yeah Baby.
Princess Amidala: Yeah Baby.

At a recent G8 Summit in Cologne, Boris Yeltsin made a rare appearance: without a drink in his hand.

Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer made a recent trip to Europe, stopping off at Lords to watch the Cricket, as well as making a trip to Belgrade in a vein attempt to rescue the two imprisoned Australian aid workers. When asked why he didn't go to the G8 meeting, Downer replied he "never liked car shows very much".

The GST is poised to make an appearance in an Australian shop near you, come July next year. The good thing about that is... ummm... errrr.... Well the Democrats passed it because... ahhh... well, you see, we're all screwed really. Time to start farming chickens in my own backyard and hording cheese covered bread like a squirrel hordes nuts.

In many Eastern societies, joy and tragedy go hand in hand and co-exist. An example of this is when a couple gets married, the union is celebrated, yet the girl leaving her family is mourned. In Western society, we should start to make tragedy and celebration co-exist as well. For example:

• If you win the lottery, you get both your legs broken.
• On your 21st Birthday, you must sell your car to the lowest bidder.
• If your team wins the grand final, your oppenents get to kick you in the head.
• When you get accepted for your first job, you must start paying full fare on buses, work overtime for no additional pay and have all your leisure activities and spare time taken away from you.
  Oh. That already happens.

Despite the fact he lost the last the last Australian Election, Opposition Leader Kim Beazley remains optimistic in his new book released this week entitled "Look Out John Howard, I'm going to eat you!".

George Bush Junior from Texas is going run in the US Presidential Election against current Vice President Al Gore. I guess it will be called the Gore-Tex election. (If you get this joke and think it's funny, please send a stamped self addressed envelope to: The Joke is Funny, C/O United Nations, Wagga Wagga.)

Australian Police have been sent to Indonesia as peace keepers for the upcoming East Timor Independence Vote. As a result all bribes must now be readdressed to: The Australian Federal Police, Dili, Indonesia