2001 started on a bright note, with George W. Bush sworn in as President in January, and ended on an even brighter note, with the Howard government being re-elected by a huge landslide - three people who voted Greens. Would you like Vodka or Gin with that?
Later in the year, the world as we know it ended when our Tom and Nicole announced their separation.
Foot and Mouth, previously thought to be some kind of hip dance, turned out to be a killer livestock disease, ravaging every country in the world except Australia.
In May, the last major anti-globalisation protest took place in Genoa, Italy, with one protester shot dead for allegedly eating McDonalds.
In August, with an election looming, John Howard does the same thing to a boatload of refugees as the Russian Mafia does to things it wants to hide: he sends it to Nauru. Operation "Sweep Under the Rug" (aka The Pacific Solution) is a roaring success, particularly for broke eastern Pacific political leaders requiring Kidney treatment.
On September 11, I was heading out to get a video, when some new kind of reality-based show came on the tele from New York. It was like watching Letterman in that I was simultaneously mesmerised and slightly frightened. It was visually spectacular, but the audio mix left a little to be desired. The budget went as such:
In October, coalition attacks were launched on Afghanistan, because, according to George W. Bush, "it is evil." Then Anthrax cases and hoaxes took place all around the world, with sales of baking powder up a record 235%.
Now, in December, the war against Afghanistan is almost over, with the Taliban forcibly removed through bombing them dead. Now President Bush's war on terrorism moves on, and he plans to bomb the following evil terrorist locations: Somalia, Iraq, Palestine, Stalingrad, Castro Street in San Francisco, Cuba, all universities, Indonesia, East Germany and Parramatta.
In sports news, unfortunately no Olympic Games were held in Sydney during the year.
In economics news, nobody had any money in 2001.
In Rememberance.
The year in music: Phish are still not back together.
The year in movies: Pearl Harbour bombed, Harry Potter was magic, Lantana was lush, Shrek was huge and Bridget Jones smoked!
Airline tickets: $600
Boxcutters: $1.80
Starting World War III: Priceless
There are something money can't buy. For everything else, there's religious fanaticism.
During 2001 the following died: cricketer Don Bradman, musician George Harrison, author Ken Kesey, blues man John Lee Hooker, our faith in democracy and human compassion, Kim Beazley's career.